Darkwood
by Acidika
Summary: This is a compilation of non-canon short stories based on my trilogy of stories bearing the same name. Further details are found at the beginning of the first chapter. Rated M or Language, Violence, Sexual Content.
1. Rachnera Cosplay Done Right

**A/N: Welcome to Darkwood. This 'story' is actually a compilation of short stories and ideas based upon my series of stories with the same name. This means _Silence_ , _Yuki-Onna_ , and _Syndicate_. All of the 'chapters' for this compilation are separate of each other, not canon to the main series' storyline, and... wait for it... _YOU_ have input in creating new 'chapters'! That's right, you, the readers are allowed to send me ideas to write that involve the many characters from the three stories I listed above. To send me these ideas, I will only be accepting them via PM, so that you and I can discuss them privately instead of in the reviews. And, on that note; Since this compilation involves reader input (as well as my own ideas) I am keeping the rating for the 'story' overall as Mature, even if the individual 'chapters' are tame/PG.**

 **Now, one last thing: The little words below are to explain where, when and what the 'chapter' is all about. As you can see, this one was created by me, is meant to take place in the Darkwood storyline after the ending of Yuki-Onna (Meaning between it and Syndicate) and is a crossover humour idea. Central Characters means who from Darkwood is primarily involved in the 'chapter', which in this case are Yuuki, Rachael and Serenity. Finally, Rating should be pretty obvious, as it gives a general idea of what the 'chapter' has in store for you to read. These**

 **Takes Place In: Yuki-onna, after official ending.**  
 **Idea Created By: Acidika  
** **General Theme: Humour, Crossover (Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou)  
** **Central Characters: Yuuki Darkwood, Rachael Darkwood, Serenity Cora Avalise  
Rating: T (Minor sexual innuendo)**

* * *

"So, wait..." Yuuki was slightly confused as she stared at the stream's chat. "I get that I've been sleeping for most of the stream, but who is this Rachnera you keep mentioning?"

It was true, she'd been asleep while Rachael did a solo - quiet - gaming broadcast, but now that she was awake, she needed to at least catch up with the current topic being discussed.

"I'll explain, ignore them for a sec." Rachael leaned back in her chair. "There's an anime from a bit before you were born, called Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou. It's a harem anime, but all the girls are, as you can guess, monster-girls, like a Lamia, Harpy, Centaur, Drider, and a bunch of others." Rachael smirked. "The Drider is named Rachnera, and apparently I, yes, I mean me as an individual, look nearly identical to her. Obviously, Kakuja's necessary for this, so we were discussing ways to hide the tattoos and cover the big blue one on my Kakuja's thorax." Yuuki tilted her head in confusion at that comment, so Rachael added. "Rachnera's got a skull on hers."

"Everyday Life With Monster Girls..." Yuuki sat down in her own chair and fired up all the camera feeds to join the broadcast. "How many episodes?"

Chat was immediately filled with 12's in response to her question. None of them could tell that she wasn't going to join Rachael's game of League of Legends (she already saw that Rachael was playing as Nautilus instead of theirs and their dad's mutually favourite champion, Jinx) as she searched for the anime online.

"After your match, should we watch it? It's not very long if it's 12 episodes." Yuuki found a torrent of the whole anime and had it downloading. It'd be done in fifteen minutes, ready to view on-stream immediately - since The Spider Web was a personal website, and the anime wasn't brand new, they didn't have to worry about copyright bullshit or having it blocked. The thanks for that hefty privilege, of course, went to Motoko and her inability to still not successfully force her way through her own security coding.

"Actually, when did you guys say Rachnera first shows up? What episode?" Rachael asked while she played. She hadn't stopped the whole time, but six eyes gave her head-turning privileges over her human team and opponents. "End of six, huh? Well, since it's honestly just for her, we could start from there onwards. If anyone's got it up, tell us the timestamp for about thirty seconds before her intro scene, and we'll stream from there onwards until the end of the 12th episode."

A few people gave the timestamp she wanted, so by the end of the match (Rachael's team got overwhelmed by a very, very well fed Nasus with enough stacks to one-shot her tank-build Nautilus) Yuuki already had the episode prepared on the shared monitor reserved for the odd occasion they watched an anime for the first time live with the chat.

"Do I care about missing so much? Not really. Harem anime aren't our thing." Yuuki spotted the concerned question in chat, but shook her head dismissively. "Well, except for that Host Club one... Ouran High School Host Club? Yeah, that's definitely a diamond in the rough for harem animes."

* * *

After watching all of the episodes with Rachnera involved, Yuuki and Rachael gave their critique of how best to adjust their tattoos and thorax symbols to match the very entertaining spider-girl in the anime.

"We'd need at least a pound of concealer for our tattoos, I'd need red contacts, and our Kakuja's thorax would likely need a coat of spray paint and her logo stenciled over top." Yuuki had been jotting notes about Rachnera down during the whole session, including a note about how the lore of her species, Arachne, got drunk from coffee... An irony that wasn't lost on the twins, nor their fanbase either.

"Her outfit, can't forget that." Rachael added, pointing at the arachnid's humanoid body with her pinkie finger. "Seems like the outfit's the harder part, since we're the only two in the whole world that can pull it off properly."

"True~!" Yuuki realized that was the cold hard fact. Sure, Miia - the Lamia girl - was easy, so was Papi and Suu - who was Yuuki's favourite, while Rachael liked Centorea - but Rachnera wasn't very likely... Until now. "I'll betcha ten bucks Serenity can make it for both of us in one day."

"I'll up the ante and say 12 hours." Rachael took the challenge and slapped a ten onto the middle of their desk at the same time as Yuuki did the same. "I'll call her, she's not on Widow duty today, it's just Mom and Dad."

* * *

"Not even a challenge." Serenity smirked at the twins arguing to each other in Russian. She knew they were debating her time, Tobias had called ahead while they were discussing the cosplay plan. "But, that twenty bucks is mine. I spend 26 hours on the whole project, pay up."

Their surprised expressions meant they hadn't known about their dad calling her, but they took it in stride and handed over the two ten's to their smiling aunt.

"Now, put them. I need to do a test for your spray paint stencil." Serenity gestured for the girls to put the Kakuja-centric outfits on as she herself indicated a nearby table arranged with various black spray paints in a long line, plus a cut-out rendition of Rachnera's skull logo in a large piece of fabric.

Once they got into the outfits and brought out their Kakuja's, Serenity spent a long time testing the correct spray paint hue that wouldn't affect the neighbouring parts of the glossy black of their Kakuja's surface, but was able to cover their respective scarlet and cyan tribal spiders without bleeding through the paint. Especially Rachael's cyan.

"Alright, I've got it!" Serenity's razor sharp eyes as a human couldn't have detected the differences unless she was really closely examining the results. But with her T-Virus enhancing her eyesight to the degree it had (Like how Tobias' hearing was his best enhancement, or Tabitha's sense of touch) it only took a few selections until she found the perfect match for covering the tribal spiders, matching the rest of the surface _and_ have the skull logo put on top. "So, tell me... Is this for a photoshoot, or are you going to the anime convention on the weekend?"

"Convention sounds like a good idea, we just need a pound of concealer for our tattoos, as much as I hate hiding them, of course." Yuuki knew better than to insult Serenity's notorious artistic skills, nor her mainstay profession as a (celebrity) tattoo artist.

"I could just do an illusion on both of your backs, it's not exactly hard for me to do them and walk away to remove them after the convention." Serenity was sitting on a stool with her hands on her knees. "But, if you want the concealer, I think I already know the hue to match your skin tone."

"We're doing this all legit, sorry Sere." Rachael replied to the suggestion of her aunt's photon manipulation power, which in the context of the convention, wasn't fair. Sure, they were using their Kakuja for the cosplay, but even in the nearly twenty years since the anime came out, Rachnera cosplay was almost solely large, near-immobile mechanical rigs that required a constant feed of electricity to move around the room. "Well, as legit as possible... Kakuja's aren't fair either."

"Hey, I think it's all a genius idea." Serenity help up her hands in mock surrender. "Concealer, spray paint and the stencil will need you both to have active Kakuja's for at least an hour before heading to the convention. I know letting it disintegrate ruins all the work, so... y'know... Don't do that?" Sere smiled at the slightly up-tilted note at the end of her sentence making it sound like a question.

* * *

The crowds of convention goers, both in cosplay and not, were waiting eagerly for the doors to open on Friday morning, ready for pictures, panels, merch and of course, a good, expensive weekend. Rumours of the real life Motoko and Stella Kusanagi, from the Ghost In The Shell franchise, being in attendance brought a fair number of the much more mature series' fanbase out of the shadow - with plenty of cosplay of the pair in their ranks - and of course, everyone waiting hadn't been expecting the large, unmarked white transport truck to come to a halt on the street.

Curious gazes and scattering whispering broke out until the sliding rear door of the trailer slid open and a man hopped out, wearing a black suit.

"Ladies, are you ready?"

He had turned back to the dark interior - Sere got her illusion in somewhere that would really count - and extended his hand to support the first chitin plated hand that extended from the darkness.

Then, several people started screaming as not one, but several long, thin legs extended from the trailer and revealed the full sight of Rachael's expert cosplay.

The screams quickly changed to cheering as Yuuki - who'd been hanging from the ceiling inside - climbed out while upside down, then flipped herself back upright by standing atop the entire trailer with a smirk on her face.

Scattered through the crowd came enthusiastic cheers as people recognized their flawless Rachnera cosplays and also realized who they were.

"It's Yuuki and Rachael! They're cosplaying Rachnera, from Monster Musume!"

Applause and cheering broke out, so Yuuki tinked her way down the side of the truck to lightly land beside her sister and join the line back, both having tucked their passes inside the neck of the slightly high collar of Rachnera's underboob-loving top.

* * *

"So, which one of you is which? I've been hearing people are having trouble telling the two of you apart." Motoko was very amused by the bold methods of using their Kakuja for the cosplay. She herself - and Stella, who'd gone to the bathroom - were wearing the outfits of their respective anime adaptations from Ghost In The Shell. The discussion panel they were part of was for the movie from earlier that year, the one that Yuuki and the pair fatefully met at with Jake.

"Well, we could mess with you..." One spoke with a smile.

"Or we could let you guess..." The other had her clawed hands on her hips, likewise smiling.

"Or~! I can remind Yuuki about a certain incident involving a spare prosthetic body and about eight inches of rock hard heaven." Stella knew right away which one that Yuuki was, because her cheeks went pink and Rachael snickered. "Gotcha, sweetheart!"

* * *

 **A/N: So, that is the first short story of this compilation. I suggest reading through the main stories to get an idea of what the characters look like, how they canonically act/think, and get a feel for the world as a whole. Anyway, like I said at the start; PM me if you have an idea for a 'chapter' that you want me to write. Ideas in the reviews will be ignored, and last but not least, there is no upload schedule for this compilation. I'll write when I have ideas... Mine or yours, it doesn't matter.**


	2. Sparring Sergeants

**Takes Place In: Yuki-Onna, after official ending.**  
 **Idea Created By: Vizord**  
 **General Theme: Action, Fight, Crossover (Ghost In The Shell)**  
 **Central Characters: Mato "Stella" Kusanagi, Tabitha "Mishka" Wilkes**

* * *

"So I hear you're the one that taught Tobias how to fight." Stella watched Tabitha's martial arts students spar while kneeling beside the T-Ghoul sensei herself. "Unarmed, I mean."

"Sure did. Taught him the basic framework of his current style. Alice's bodyguard from Umbrella, Malcolm, also taught him a technique called Gun Kata at the same time." Tabitha explained, still watching her students. They were her youth class, none of them were older than fifteen. "He combined and modified them both, creating his style as it is today."

"I'm curious about where you learned all your techniques." Stella continued. "I've never seen these maneuvers, to be honest. It's quite similar to SCARS, the style used by the Navy SEAL's."

"Scientific Combat Reactionary System." Tabitha knew about that style. "Well, my father was the one that taught me how to fight. The technique is called CQC, or Close Quarters Combat. It's designed for control, restraints and non-lethal takedowns."

"I've noticed it also has a number of pins and throws too." Stella's upper lip moved in a smirk as the two sparring girls did just that: One escaped a pin, then countered by throwing the other over her back to land on the mat.

"Hold! Match over!" Tabitha stood up, causing both girls to stop fighting and listen to their Sensei. "Excellent counter, Kelly. Vicky, are you alright?"

"Yes, Sensei!" The downed girl quickly got to her feet, showing no signs of strain or injury.

"Alright, check in with Hinami, make sure to get some ice for the bruises. Class is almost finished, so I'll see you next week. Take care everyone." Tabitha could tell that under the girl's uniform she'd gotten a few bruises, so she'd be aching a bit without some ice.

As the boys and girls filed out of the dojo, Stella stood up and approached Tabitha from the side, waiting for the chat with her wife, Hinami, to finish.

"Stella, I heard from Motoko a while ago that you're the pointwoman for Section 9 back in Japan. I take it you have martial arts training?" Tabitha asked after talking with Hinami about the match's losing girl.

"Mixed styles, I was in a trophy family as a kid, until I got a major injury." Stella explained, then noticed the smirk. "Before becoming a cyborg. I got into a fight at school with my brother, he broke my right femur, beating me with a chair."

"Well, that's a shame. So, I sense competitions were a thing you had to do... and obviously win them."

"Exactly." Stella nodded, already aware of what Tabitha was inching the conversation towards. "I take it you're interested in sparring with me?"

"It's tempting, yes." Tabitha smirked, knowing she'd been caught. "See, I had a thought recently. Who would win in a fight: A Ghoul... or a cyborg? Obviously Kagune and weapons aren't allowed, totally even playing field."

"That's actually an interesting question." Stella's curiosity was piqued. Sure, her limbs, jaw and shoulders were reinforced by Titanium-alloy, but that wasn't much considering Ghouls could regenerate, plus certain things couldn't harm them, such as blades or bullets not made of Quinque Steel, which of course she lacked herself. "I'm leaning towards the Ghoul, honestly. A2 armoured cyborg bodies aren't made of Quinque Steel, and mine are all Titanium based alloy. Besides, you can regenerate, I can't."

"But you're armoured, with a cyberbrain too. I'm leaning towards the cyborg, 'cause you can take the hits, plus process things faster." Tabitha held up her hands with a small smile. "C'mon, it won't kill us. One match, that's all I'm asking."

[ _She's not asking for much, Stella_.] Motoko's voice came through Stella's cyberbrain, sounding rather interested in the matchup. [ _What harm would there be in one match?_ ]

[ _A rematch, perhaps?_ ] Stella replied sassily, but returned her attention back to Tabitha. "Gimme a bit to think about it, okay? I mean... It's Monday and well, y'know..." Stella didn't need to finish the sentence. Darkwood aired on Monday's and it wasn't exactly a secret she was a huge fangirl.

"Okay, I can wait a day. You know where to find me." Tabitha smiled and patted Stella's shoulder as they left the dojo.

* * *

"I would pay money to see a match like this." Tobias chuckled quietly to Motoko while the rest of his family joined the gathered onlookers in the BSAA training hall, where Tabitha and Stella would be sparring each other - recorded for Darkwood's next episode of course - in the boxing ring that was used for unarmed training.

"Well... I would too... but this is my wife, after all." Motoko smiled slightly. "Who do you think will win?"

"My money'd go on Stella." Tobias smiled as he glanced over at Motoko for a brief moment. "Yuuki wasn't the only one of us that saw your movie."

Motoko laughed slightly at the revelation, but said nothing as Yuuki and Rachael explained the match rules to Stella and Tabitha before stepping out of the ring and joined their mother.

"Alright! One round only! Stella and Mishka, on my signal!" Tobias called out over the chattering onlookers. He held up his hand for a moment, then in an even louder voice, gave the signal by lowering his hand very suddenly. " _GO_!"

Stella already knew that Tabitha's CQC was a defensive martial art, so she quickly checked Tabitha's stance for an opening; it was a slightly widened stance, with her hands open and held around chest height. Stable, simple and effective.

But, that didn't matter. She was already on the move, letting her muscle memory take over now that she was done with the analytic part. She opened up with a cross punch, which Tabitha easily diverted aside with one hand, but went with an elbow jab with the same arm, drastically shortening the gap between them to prepare for her other hand's incoming palm strike to Tabitha's stomach.

With a twist of her torso, Tabitha gripped Stella's arm above the elbow and her free hand's wrist, using the momentum of her turn to widen her stance and flip Stella over her back, landing with a thump but was quickly recovered.

Stella recognized that throw as the one that ended the match between her two students the day before. But, she didn't have time to reminisce, because Tabitha was already throwing several jabs and hooks, which were all blocked, but the sudden kick to the back of her shin disrupted her stance for just a moment and it was quickly followed up by an incoming high sidekick.

On instinct, and with a brazen ducking-dodge, Stella evaded right under the incoming kick, but didn't realize that it was only part of the maneuver until Tabitha's raised leg hooked around the back of her neck and dragged her down to the mat again.

Rolling away was her first instinct, but knowing that wasn't as viable as it seemed, she realized that this wasn't even a pin like it looked. It was a throw that ended in a hold. She could still escape it if she...

With a sudden heave, Tabitha couldn't complete the hold as Stella lifted her legs and flipped herself upright, already swinging her leg around for a roundhouse kick. She blocked the kick with her arm, then evaded another cross punch, tossing a jab to disrupt Stella's chain, and went for an arm pin.

Stella somehow saw the arm pin coming, and brought her elbow back and rammed it into Tabitha's ribs, disrupting the pin at the same time as she hooked her foot behind Tabitha's ankle and swept the leg forward, ducking low when she sensed a kick coming from her blind side, and used the momentum to roll out of the way, putting some distance between them for a moment to reassess her efforts.

CQC seemed to have strictly defensive maneuvers, so when Tabitha went on the offense, it was to try and open up a window for a maneuver. But, her own mixed martial arts were all for the offense in comparison. Polar opposite tactics. This was nearly a stalemate.

Tabitha already had the opportunity she needed, but Stella's Muai Thai stance unconsciously protected her major weak point, the Prosthetic Blind Spot, located under the sides of her jaw, near the jugular. She couldn't get the Blind Spot exposed long enough to get a punch in.

* * *

Tobias and Motoko were watching the brief moment of staring with keen eyes. They both could tell what was going through the minds of their respective counterparts.

"Stella can't counter such a defensive technique, she's running out of ideas." Motoko could see it in Stella's stoic expression, even if nobody else could.

"Mishka's trying to find an opening; I know she's trying to target Stella's PBS, but that Muai Thai stance she's using is doing her serious justice in protecting it." Tobias also knew Tabitha's hidden intentions through the veil of concentration covering her face.

"How do you know about the Prosthetic Blind Spot?" Motoko was curious, since Tobias wasn't - and obviously was completely unable to be - cyberized at all.

"Half of my team, the BSAA Alpha Team, are cyborgs, two of them were sparring here one time and knocked each other out with simultaneous hits under the other's jaw. All their other strikes had minimal effect."

* * *

The match continued in a near-stalemate for several more minutes, and once again, Stella and Tabitha briefly stared each other down to evaluate tactics and take a second to catch their breath. But it didn't last long, they were quickly back at it, punching, kicking, blocking and dodging at a rapid pace until Tabitha ducked under one of Stella's wide punches, exposing her Blind Spot.

Without even a hint of hesitation, Tabitha launched into a rising uppercut, nailing Stella right in the jaw and knocking her out before she'd even landed on her back with a thud.

"That's it! Match over!" Tobias called loudly, watching the intensity of Tabitha's glowing yellow eyes recede back to normal levels. "Tabitha wins!"

Of course, being the winner meant nothing to Tabitha while Stella was still on the mat, so she knelt down as Stella groaned and opened her eyes.

"What the hell was that? How did you knock me out in one punch?" Stella accepted Tabitha's hand to stand up, still recovering from the hit to her PBS.

"It's called the Prosthetic Blind Spot. If struck on either side below the jaw, it forces a short state of unconsciousness to protect your cyberbrain. All cyberbrains have this, even mine." Motoko came over to them as the cheering died down. "To be completely honest, Batou should've told you the story of his case about Pavlo Zaitsev... But I can tell he didn't." Motoko smiled as Stella and Tabitha shook hands.

"That was actually a lot of fun, Tabitha." Stella's lip curled in her usual partial smile, and Tabitha laughed slightly.

"Call me Mishka, _everybody_ does." Tabitha nodded. "Or Sensei, that works too."

"I think you'd make a great Drill Sergeant, honestly. Gotta whip those kids into shape, right?" Stella laughed too, finding the Russian nickname much more fitting than calling her Sensei.


	3. Kaneki Cane

**Takes Place In: Syndicate**  
 **Idea Created By: Acidika, How-Not-To-Do-Something, Vizord**  
 **General Theme: Action, Fighting, Humour**  
 **Central Characters: Kaneki Ken**  
 **Rating: T**

* * *

"Alright, that's enough for today. Your homework is this week is the novel study from yesterday." Kaneki spoke up as his class gave that subtle impatient shift signaling the end of the period. "Keep the talking low, you leave at the bell. If there are any further questions, come and speak to me."

With that, Kaneki sat at his desk and started organizing the assignments of the day, but two of his students approached him with their novels in hand.

"Mr. Ken, we were a bit confused by the sentence structure question, could you give us a hand?"

Kaneki nodded and opened his own copy of the novel, already aware of the sentence that had confused them. He tapped the page with his index finger with a smile. "Right here, I presume?" They nodded, so he explained what the assigned question was entailing. They both understood and joined the rest of the students as they left the classroom at the bell, leaving Kaneki for the brief four minutes until his next class began.

He raised his coffee to take a sip, but paused when he detected the sound of a commotion out in the hall. It sounded like a rapidly escalating argument.

So, lowering his coffee cup and standing up, Kaneki snatched a very special nearby object as he strode out into the hall to find two male students fighting each other.

Stepping into the crowd of bystanders, Kaneki's grip tightened as he flicked his wrist and swung the end between the two boys, causing them both to freeze in wary fear.

"Principal's office... or the nurse's office? Your choice, gentlemen." Kaneki spoke in a low but authoritative voice as the gathered students went utterly silent upon seeing the infamous cane in his hand.

Normally it was seen leaning near him or at his desk, but any fool could tell he didn't use it for walking. It was a weapon, plain and simple.

After several long, tense seconds, both boys scowled at Kaneki - otherwise known as Mr. Ken, the 12th Grade English teacher - and walked off, headed in the direction of the principal's office.

Lowering his cane, Kaneki looked around at the bystanders and called out. "Class starts in three minutes, get moving!"

* * *

"I believe that cane of yours brings more authority than I do, Kaneki." The principal of the school smiled at the black wood and sterling silver walking stick leaning beside Kaneki's desk at the end of the school day. "You didn't use it, this time?"

"No, ma'am. Just my usual question." Kaneki shuffled his stack of assignments on his desktop, then carefully placed them into his bag. "I heard the argument escalate, and had to step through the crowd of onlookers. They came to you of their own free will."

"What makes the cane so special? It isn't concealing a weapon, is it?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It is, yes. I don't use it here for obvious reasons." Kaneki replied honestly as he closed his bag and hung it over his shoulder. "It has a cable in the grip, about two feet long. Makes the handle act as a grappling hook."

"Non-lethal, I presume?"

"Yes ma'am." Kaneki picked up the cane and pressed the hidden trigger, then pulled the cable to full length with one hand on the handle, the other on the shaft. "That's it. Doesn't do anything else."

"Now I can see why some students have been overheard calling you 'Mr. Cane' instead of Ken." She laughed slightly, amused by the display of the cable retracting the walking stick back into the original form.

"I've heard that one too. I've also heard some saying that I also have a stick up my ass." Kaneki tucked the cane under his arm and left the classroom with the principal joining him in the silent halls. "I can assure you, that's not the case."

"Of that, I have no doubts, Kaneki." She smiled again and bade him goodbye.

* * *

A little later that evening, Kaneki briefly stopped to buy a coffee, but on his way back to his car, he once again heard a commotion nearby, so he listened in and scowled upon hearing the voices.

Striding around the corner of the alley, Kaneki narrowed his eyes upon catching sight of the three thugs attempting to overpower a panicking woman. Without hesitation, he already had his cane in hand as he approached, only then did they realize he was there.

"Yo, fuck off, this ain't none of yo business, old man!" One of them, wearing a bandana over his face, waved the knife in his hand towards Kaneki, who ignored the atrociously butchered sentence structure and swung the cane up to hover half an inch from his covered face.

"Police... or paramedics? Your choice, gentlemen." Kaneki spoke in the same low, authoritative voice as he did back in the school, but the thug tried to swat the cane aside, only for Kaneki to flip the cane around, causing the cable to extend from the centrifugal force and smack the thug in the chin, much like an uppercut.

But, that wasn't the end of it, with a flick of his wrist, the metal handle hooked the second thug's hoodie collar and he pulled the man aside, retracting the cable and reverting it to just the cane as the third held the woman hostage with his own knife at her throat...

It was the principal from the school.

" _Ma'am_." Kaneki nodded once when she realized it was indeed him... Then he shoved the tip of the cane into the stomach of the first thug that was sneaking up behind him, causing him to buckle over in pain.

But, with a fluid motion, Kaneki released the cable again whilst simultaneously sliding his slackened grip down the length of the cane, extending his arm forward and gripping the cane to precisely hook the end of the thug's knife arm and pulled it away from his boss' neck.

"The fuck?!" Caught off balance now, the thug was dragged away from her into a forward stumble... straight into Kaneki's piping hot coffee. "GAAAAH!"

His face covered in scalding hot coffee, Kaneki stepped over his writhing form and smiled at his boss as the handle of his cane retracted back to normal with a sharp click. "Are you alright?"

"Now I can see why it only has that cable, thank you... I'm alright." She rubbed her neck with a sigh. "I shudder to imagine what that would've been like had you been using both hands to fight."

"They're lucky I only used my cane..." Kaneki glanced at the one that was still clutching his burning face. "Shall we be off, ma'am?"

"This reminds me of those living bioweapons, Darkwood's or something, that I've seen on the news... _Amazing_." She spoke quietly to herself as they left the alley and back to their cars. "And to think, you're just an English teacher..."

"I'm more than just an English teacher, ma'am... I'm a Darkwood." Kaneki replied with a smirk. "Take care, I'll see you tomorrow."


	4. Lady gets Lucky

**Takes Place In: Yuki-Onna, during main storyline**  
 **Idea Created By: Acidika and How-Not-To-Do-Something**  
 **General Theme: Smut, Canon Info**  
 **Central Characters: Yuuki Darkwood, Lucky Lady**  
 **Rating: M**  
 **Note: This is the official rendition of the in-story fanfic that Yuuki read about her and the humanoid version of Lucky Lady in Chapter 38 of Yuki-Onna.**

* * *

Yuuki couldn't sleep, tossing and turning restlessly until she growled in frustration and sat upright. Her six eyes scanned the dark of her room, unaffected by the lack of light, as she sighed in annoyance. She wasn't sleeping tonight, that was for sure.

As she was about to stand up, she heard a chuckle from near her desk, and she turned her head to find a dark clad figure sitting at her darkened computer, facing her.

"Relax, I'm not a stranger, my dear." The figure was female, with a surprisingly thick Russian accent, just like her father's. Upon closer inspection, Yuuki noticed that she was literally black-skinned. Black like Quinque Steel, or oil.

"How do I know you?" Yuuki demanded, keeping her voice low to not wake up her father... or her mother, who liked her sleep.

"You're the one that gave me my name." The Russian woman chuckled. "I'm Lucky Lady, your Mosin Nagant Model 91/30."

"But you're... human." Yuuki didn't understand what was going on. This woman claimed to be her rifle... which was ridiculous.

"I'm a gun, I'm not all knowing." Lucky Lady chuckled again. "I've been watching over you for a while now... Having trouble sleeping?"

"You do realize how strange this conversation is, right?" Yuuki commented as she nodded her head.

"I can help you relax enough to get some sleep." Lucky Lady's voice was dripping with a husky seductiveness that made Yuuki squirm slightly.

"You're saying you would have sex with me..."

"No, not would..." Lucky Lady stood up, just as a gap in the clouds outside Yuuki's balcony window shone the moonlight right onto her nude form. " _Will._ "

Yuuki's eyes went wide as she scanned Lucky Lady's gorgeous body; both of her arms had her quote engraving tattoo'd from her wrist to her shoulder, in all three languages. Her hair was silver, like her eyes, giving her a rather Dark Elf-like appearance with her gorgeous midnight onyx skin and _very_ perky silver nipples. Adorning her upper chest near her throat was her name, in gold, reaching from shoulder to shoulder, in elegant cursive writing, like the silvery quote adorning both of her arms.

"I'm stronger than I look." Yuuki frowned, forcing herself to stare Lucky Lady in the eyes and not at her beautiful body.

"Physically... or mentally?" Lucky Lady teased as she reached the bed and started to lean over Yuuki. "I know you better than you think, my dear Yuuki."

"I highly doubt th... _Mmph_!" Yuuki began, but Lucky Lady reached around the back of her head and pulled her into an intimate kiss, silencing her defiant comment in an instant.

Yuuki struggled to resist, but somehow found her strength utterly failing her. Her thighs were unconsciously clenching together, as were her fingers in the bed sheets as Lucky Lady's tongue danced inside her mouth with her own.

"Why would I hurt you? I'm your rifle, I'm meant to protect you. And that means I should care about your health and well being." Lucky Lady smirked as she pulled her mouth away from Yuuki, connected with a thin trail of their saliva. "So... you have too much clothing on right now."

"Don't you dare..." Yuuki glared at her smirking face, grabbing her wrists in warning.

"I wasn't planning anything, merely observing." Lucky Lady chuckle for a moment as she slowly relaxed her hands until Yuuki released her wrists. "I can assist you, if you'd like."

Yuuki's cheeks went pink, but she allowed Lucky Lady to drag the hem of her tank top up her stomach, over her tits and off her shoulders, then tossed it aside herself as Lucky Lady slid her hands underneath Yuuki's ass to pull her short pajama shorts off her legs.

"What's this? No panties?" Lucky Lady teased as she chuckled into Yuuki's shoulder before planting a loving kiss to her collarbone. "You naughty girl..."

"Says the one that was already naked before me." Yuuki countered, but Lucky Lady hummed in amusement.

"Says the one that doesn't realize clothes are non-existent for a _rifle_."

Yuuki couldn't come up with another snappy comeback this time, tensing as Lucky Lady's hands palmed her boobs, lifting them up as if to weight and appraise them. Her fingers were surprisingly cold against her skin.

"Relax, leave it all to me, my dear." Lucky Lady lowered her mouth to Yuuki's rigid nipples and gave them a gentle lick, both for only a split second, each tiny contact causing her to gasp sharply at her frigid tongue.

Yuuki's fingers were clenched in the bed sheets again, her claws unconsciously extending as Lucky Lady continued to tease her tits with her fingers and tongue for a few more minutes until sliding one hand down Yuuki's tensed, rigid six pack abs to slow down as her questing fingers passed her navel.

"You're not helping me relax, you smartass." Yuuki growled through her teeth, very pent up and frustrated by the teasing she was receiving.

"Method to the madness, you big baby." Lucky Lady lowered her gaze for a moment, then seductively stared into Yuuki's solid blue glowing eyes. "When I'm done, you'll be dumber than a post."

"Put your money where your mouth..." Yuuki challenged, but Lucky Lady slid one finger across her sensitive entrance and elicited a sharp gasp from Yuuki, ending her cocky challenge.

"Oh, my dear, I intend to do just that..." Lucky Lady smirked as she teasingly licked Yuuki's nipple. " _Momentarily_."

Yuuki was panting for breath, unable to reply or resist as Lucky Lady crawled backwards seductively, flaunting her ass in the air as she trailed a dozen kisses down Yuuki's stomach until reaching her slit and briefly smirking before extending her silvery tongue and beginning her task of pleasuring Yuuki into utter stupidity.

Within just a few minutes, Yuuki was tightly gripping the top of Lucky Lady's head, gasping and moaning constantly as Lady licked and teased her with coy kisses and breaths of cool air. She had her legs spread open, one hanging over the side of her bed, the other with her knee raised over Lady's shoulder with her foot resting on her upper back. She was panting for breath, unable to string a sentence together from her raging waves of pure pleasure coursing through her body.

"I told you... dumber than a post." Lady briefly took her mouth away from Yuuki's dripping entrance to tease her. "And I'm not anywhere near finished yet either."

Yuuki was practically blubbering, she'd already been lost to the lust fueled haze, her six gazes rolling back into her head as she locked up with the incoming rush of her release.

"C'mon, eyes on me, that's it, good girl." Lady somehow seemed to know exactly where Yuuki's gaze was directed as she blearily brought her humanoid rifle back into focus. "I have a surprise for you, think you're up for it?"

"What... kind of surprise?" Yuuki panted for breath, watching as Lady rose onto her knees, rather proudly brandishing her rigid cock between her legs. "I am _not_ sucking you off." That was her only condition to the rather unexpected display.

"Perks of being a bolt-action." Lady chuckled before crawling over Yuuki again and using one hand to guide herself into Yuuki's entrance. "I'll start slow."

And so she did. Yuuki was biting her lip, her wrists linked around the back of Lady's neck as she slowly worked into a steady pace. It felt amazing, such a perfect shape and size for her.

"So tell me... Am I better as a lesbian, or with my bolt?" Lucky Lady spoke into Yuuki's ear when she rested her chin onto her shoulder.

"Does it even... matter?" Yuuki hummed with pleasure. "I've had my hands all over you, it's only fair you get free reign of me in return."

"' _When you stare into the scope, the scope stares back._ '" Lady spoke in a sagely tone, then elaborated. "What I mean by that, is I've seen into your eyes, I've felt what you feel, I know what you like... and what you don't. So, there's a few things I simply refuse to do to you. _Ever_."

"So my rifle's a philosopher... Mmmmm, right there!" Yuuki groaned lovingly as Lady shifted slightly inside of her, sending a fresh wave of pleasure up her spine.

"I do more than shoot bullets, my dear." Lady smirked as Yuuki gasped with surprise. "As you're acutely aware, of course."

"If you know so much about me, then you should know I'm not fragile. I can handle getting rough." Yuuki challenged with a coy smirk. "Unless you're too much of a peashooter for that..."

".308's a hefty caliber, my dear..." Lady countered before letting out a small chuckle. "If only I was still chambered in 7.62x54R... You wouldn't be making such cocky remarks."

Yuuki briefly considered what exactly she meant in reference to her caliber, but the next thing she knew, she was face down on the bed with Lady's hands on her hips, still steadily thrusting her full length inside of her quivering slit.

"Your Aunt Serenity did an amazing job with your tattoo, my dear. Too bad she isn't a gunsmith, I'd love to feel the hands of such a masterful artist working on my body." Lady languidly caressed her fingertips along the shape of Yuuki's iconic red spider tattoo. "Mmmmm... Beautiful body art on such a gorgeous girl, I just might misfire..."

"Not if I can help it!" Yuuki smirked as she pushed herself up from on her hands and knees, flattening her shoulders against Lady's slightly smaller bust while simultaneously reaching one hand to grab her caressing hand with her own, while the other went up to Lady's face and turned her briefly surprised expression towards her incoming kiss. "Mmmmmm..."

Now on her knees with Lady still intimately connected with her sex, she locked lips with her rifle, making sure that her fingers tangled into Lady's silver hair. Her other hand guided Lady's trapped hand down to her enraged clit, which Lady understood the silent request to pleasure it.

Lady's left hand hadn't moved from Yuuki's hip, but idly began to teasingly trace the lines of the spiderwebs that curved around Yuuki's hip to reach mere inches away from her occupied slit. But, she started tracing another line in the erratic webbing, retreating away from the bombardment of sexual pleasure that was raging between Yuuki's flexing thighs.

Yuuki loved the synergy of Lady's roaming hand - which was now teasing the lines of her six pack - with her thrusting, and especially the feeling of Lady's trapped right hand completely obeying the guidance of her own right hand, leading her expert fingers to her most sensitive, knee-shaking, moan-inducing pleasure landmines like a trained minesweeper.

Lady's roaming left hand continued to rise towards Yuuki's heaving chest, briefly tracing the spiderwebs that extended under her right breast before fondling the same tit, which subtly created a loving embrace for her arms, yet another intimate, physical connection for them to share.

Lady could sense Yuuki's racing heartbeat, knowing that she was about to start increasing the pace for her impending climax. Sure, she herself might've had her caliber downsized, but that didn't mean she wasn't chambered in an undersized cartridge. She was still a formidable weapon.

Yuuki was almost at her limit, desperately working herself up to a frenzy pace. She was tightly gripping Lady's hair and hand, tensing her whole body as her finally came, her mind going blissfully blank.

The instant Yuuki's release struck her, she clamped down around Lady's length, trapping her entire shaft inside of herself right up to the hilt. The sudden squeezing also triggered Lady's own release, filling her with a blazing hot torrent of seed that lasted for several long, luxuriously intimate seconds as they both slowly lowered themselves from their raised position on their knees without breaking a single one of their numerous physical connections. They remained motionless, still in their close embrace as they came down from their orgasmic highs.

"Guess what?" Lucky Lady withdrew her mouth from Yuuki's with a growing smirk tugging at her lips.

"What?" Yuuki was panting heavily, so it took her a moment to reply.

"I just fired my first round, my dear... and I've got a five round internal box magazine, remember?" Lady whispered into Yuuki's ear with a cheeky grin all over her face. "So... I'm gonna need you to work my bolt for me. I _am_ a bolt-action rifle, after all..."


End file.
